Meetings and Maids

I just ended my Coaching Call with Chinrinee, and I must say, she is an amazing woman who has had an amazing week!

She talked to me about an experience she had while she was facilitating a training for staff. One man shared his story about the difficulty he has had with work. Chinrinee described the meeting circle. Nobody could talk, each person was quiet, and she could feel the energy of the collective wisdom. As a result of that experience, the employee knew he would be able to make the right decision, and where at first he thought his boss was wrong, now was able to consider new and different answers.

And then she got a call from her maid, who was apparently out of control emotionally, and accusing her kids of wrongdoing. Incredibly, Chinrinee was able to suspend any response and judgement, and just collect the information she was receiving, while she was away from her chuildren, and not in any real position to act. Once she got back home, she was able to talk to her children and her maid, and an understanding was reached, and apologies were made by her children.

Gratefully, the Maid resigned, but there were no bad feelings, or any sort of anger between any the parties. It's wonderful to read about so many theories and strategies, but it is a wonderful opportunity for me, when I am able to meet and talk with someone who is able to apply what we are learning, and do it successfully and with grace.

Jo Ann

Front porch meditation

This week's coaching session with Marc was a lot of fun for me. It's been a while since we last spoke, so it was nice to visit. I shared my 15 minutes in nature, talked about what it meant to me, and how it was, overall, a very pleasant experience, and one I should be more in a habit of practicing.

I let Marc know that my winter semester could not count toward my degree, and so my plans for spring graduation had to be put on hold. I apologized after I said it, not knowing where I was going with the thought, and then it hit me. While I was on the porch, I was struck by a feeling that I was exactly where I needed to be, and doing what I needed to get done. There was less of a feeling of anger, (I mean really, $1,000. and the month of January, plus, plus, all for naught), and more of an understanding that I need to spend the summer here in Freedom, and have some trust in a reason.

Currently, I have a very knowlegeable superviser for my ABA studies. I believe that it will benefit me to get as much experience as I can from him before I take off for my adventure.
Marc asked me where and what I plan on doing, and I explained that I am leaving that completely open. I don't want my history and experience to exclude me from any possibillities that I might not be considering.

And as a bonus, Marc let me unload some of my angst in regard to the final project, as well as some routine work complaints.

I am looking forward to next week.
Jo Ann

Front Porch Sitting

What a great assignment for this week! At first, it seemed daunting to say the least, to ask, "Who is myself", and where in the day was I going to find those 15 minutes?

So after I set the stove timer, grabbed a blanket and went outside, I remembered that sitting on the front porch was at one time a nightly ritual. When did I stop taking these few minutes to sit and be with myself and all those nighttime noises? It still amazes me how the longer I sit, the louder it gets.

I know this is information for my Coaching Session, but I just wanted to share how nice it was, and how after I was able to sit, answers and ideas began to flow, and when the timer went off, I was wishing that I hadn't set it.

First too high, then too low

This week was exceptionally difficult for me. I spent much of the week being angry and upset, for reasons not related to this course. That being said, I wanted to spend a little time to process this most recent coaching session with Marc before I responded.

For me, this week's session was very productive. My challenge was to suspend judgement and have a conversation with someone I have had difficulty speaking with. My previous ABA Superviser fit that bill. To describe him as being abrupt is to put it mildly, and since a new superviser was hired, any interactions have been negligible. He put in his notice, and since this was his last week, I thought this assignment would be the ideal opportunity to ask him about our previous supervision experience. I was wrong! My attempt at a conversation was extremely brief and for me, disappointing.

After talking with Marc, I realized that just because my expectations were changing, and I was modifying my behavior, it was unrealistic to expect someone else to simply follow suit. A strategy that might have encouraged a conversation would be to first explain to the person exactly what I was attempting, the purpose of the conversation, and what I would like to see as a result.

My second attempt had similar but opposite results. I had a polite conversation with a man who works in the maintenence department. Again, I think I would have been more successful if I had first explained to the person what I was attempting and why. Another barrier to my exercises in conversation was the time constraints. I'm sure my workplace is not unique in that noone has enough time to accomplish their routing tasks, never mind all the surprises and dillemmas that are a natural part of any residential facility.

I would like to extend this assignment, implement my strategies, and see if I can have a better result. The time constraint will remain a constant, but I think opening the dialogue by downloading information may nudge the discussion beyond the polite stage.
Jo Ann

Coaching with Chinrinree

I just got finished speaking with Chinrinree about this week's assignment. She described some of her work routine; Tuesday's training meetings and Friday meetings held in a circle. It was at one of the "Circle" meetings that Chinrinee was informed of bad decisions being made, without her input or consent, which have cost her company (meaning herself) a lot of money.

Of course her first response was to feel anger, but she didn't let her angry feelings control the situation. Instead, she meditated on the following morning to, "Accept the day as it is." During the meeting, she let go of her role as "Leader", and asked those in attendance, "What shall we do?".
Chinrinree talked about the quiet in the room, and then presented the same question again. She made a commitment to suspend her feelings, and to not assign blame. She told me, "Maybe my picture is not their picture" and, "I have to learn with them".

I think it is nothing short of amazing that Chinrinee was able to set aside her personal feelings of loss, and most likely some feelings of betrayal, in order to become one with her team of staff, and to actively problem solve and learn.

Empathic Listening

While reading this week's assignment, I couldn't help but to think of my last Coaching Call with Chinrinee. When she told me about taking an employee, (who had been found sleeping on the job- several times) out for coffee, and be present for that person and simply listen, was I believe the epitome of empathic listening.

As part of this experience, "Cathartic communication" (Steil) was a large part of the 2 1/2 hours. Chinrinee spoke of the employee crying with frustrations, few of which were work related. After reading the article, it became clear that in order for the employee to begin to discuss the work-related issues, there needed to be this purging of emotion.

Beyond Ironman

I sat down tonight wondering what I had to say about this week's reading's and subsequent discussions. Then I opened an e-mail, which turned out to be a Blog, which I consider now to be a gift.

Also, I'm trying to figure out if there is a final project here also.

Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did.
Jo Ann